London's New Year Fireworks

Jaw-droppingly spectacular fireworks over London ... so that's what happened to the Olympic contingency fund ...

Walcott for Chelsea?

This morning, Noah and I were watching Arsenal's 7-3 drubbing of Newcastle in last night's Match of the Day, when Evie came in, whose interest in football is at best dilettante ...
 
Evie: Theo Walcott? I thought he played for Chelsea
Daddy: No, he's an Arsenal player
Evie: Has he ever played for Chelsea?
Daddy: No.  He's never been a Chelsea player
Evie: Has he been a sub for Chelsea?
Daddy: No, not even a sub
Evie: Man, I can't believe I thought that, this whole time ...

Funniest Part of One's Body?

Evie (full of ideas this morning): What's the funniest part of your body ... that you can play with?
Daddy (perplexed): Er ...
Evie: Your nose!
Daddy (relieved): Oh yes! Of course!

Added salt ,,,

I think I'm correct in my belief that if you add the salt before cooking then it doesn't really count as salt ...

As we were finishing Boxing Day dinner, Sarah came into the room with her boyfriend Joe ...
 
Daddy (to Sarah & Joe):  Would you like some food?
Sarah (adolescently dismissive):  No thanks
Maman (maternally dismissive):  They'll feed themselves with cornflakes
Joe (surveying the cereals):  I can't even see any cornflakes!
Evie:  You just don't get the sarcasm, do ya?

Literally ...

Noah (nearly 9) has suddenly started using the word "literally" ... but in literally every sentence. He started literally yesterday. When I checked if he understands the word's meaning, he couldn't explain it and yet he uses it in a superficially plausible way. I think I'll wait a little longer before advising him that he's literally wearing the word out.

Fox attacks 'vindictive' media

"The ministerial code has been found to be breached".  There's nothing like the passive tense to soften the message.  It wasn't me, guv, it just happened.

He criticises the media frenzy, apparently without wondering if he might have caused it. One week before resigning, he assured us that the allegations were baseless.  Baseless! He knew that they were not only not baseless, they were true.  It was a bare-faced lie.  Does he not feel that he should also apologise for baldly lying to the public he served?

Protestant Truth

... not to be confused with other versions of the truth ...

This bookshop has been in Fleet Street at least since I started working in the area in the late '80s, although it might have changed its name at one point.  I never see anyone going in or out.  How do they afford the rent?  Perhaps it's a front for more sinister purposes ... although there isn't much more sinister ...

More Rubbish ...

I always carry my compact digital camera with me in London. Sometimes I catch the train into Waterloo and walk to work across Waterloo Bridge, from where there are great views of Westminster and the City. Here on the left you can see a barge transporting London's refuse to the Mucking landfill site in Essex.

 

Security at Work

Evie is interested to find out if the security guard at my work will let me in with my new pass ... I'll give it a go in the morning ...

 

The Perception of Evie (aged 5)

Daddy (driving): Sarah, is it this right?

Sarah: No, it's the next one.

Daddy: And then is it the first left?

Sarah: Yes.

Evie: Sarah's like a sat-nav.

Lunch at The Fox, Patching

We enjoyed a family lunch at The Fox, Patching, today - all six of us!  We felt honoured by Sarah's presence - the first occasion in a long time that she's eaten with us.  Before we ate inside, there was much reading and colouring done outside, while Noah and Evie fed the horses in the adjacent field and played on the climbing frame.

Evie's Lists

Evie's latest obsession is to write lists describing her life. I suppose it's her form of blogging.  Here's this morning's breakfast menu. The "sweety" is her multi-vitamins lozenge:

 

Eric Pickles

Does anyone else find Eric Pickles profoundly uninspiring?

‎

... unlike Dill Pickles.

Is it just because I can't take my eyes off his voluminous throat? Or because he's a Tory minister of severely limited abilities?

I loved it when, a few years ago on Question Time, Pickles complained that the public doesn't understand how tough it is being an MP, explaining in a wholly unconvincing way how his parliamentary duties required him to be in a certain place at a certain time without fail ... and Dimbleby cruelly interjected "you mean it's like a job?"

You can find this excerpt on YouTube ... but don't scroll down to the foul-mouthed and moronic comments below.

MP's Wife Guilty of Kitten Theft

MP's wife guilty of kitten theft

The wife of Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming is found guilty of stealing a kitten from the home of her husband's lover.

You couldn't make it up ...

The Anguish of Evie (aged 5)

Evie: Life is so hard on me
Maman: Is it? Why?
Evie: Because I'm trying to work out its meaning, but I can't

The Orthography of Evie (aged 5)

Evie: Daddy, how do you spell "Thank you"?
Daddy: T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U
Evie: Don't look! (She writes, then mouths F-O-R)
Evie: Daddy, how do you spell "taking us on holiday"?

 

Inner Temple Gardens

On a resplendent Autumn day in the Capital, I luncheoned al fresco in the salubrious environs of the Inner Temple gardens ... on a Tesco £2.50 Meal Deal. There I happened upon the Head Gardener, who turned out to be none other than my good chum, Andrea Brunsendorf, erstwhile fellow student of Nature Conservation at the University College of Olde London Town (UCOLT). We conversed a while and then she sent me on my way with a bag of newly-fallen Walnuts.

Life's but a walking shadow

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.