"Your Amazon.co.uk order has dispatched". 

No it hasn't, it has BEEN dispatched.

 

The Perspicacity of Evie (aged 5):

"Those aren't any old cones, those are emergency cones"

Well, the summer pudding is chilling in the fridge overnight (we made it with cherries, blackcurrants and raspberries), but the gooseberry meringue tart fell at the first hurdle, for want of a twenty-three centimetre loose-bottomed tart tin ...

... it's the tin that's loose-bottomed, not the tart ...

The Cuisine of Evie (aged 5):

Evie: I've washed my beautiful hands! Now let's make that summer pudding ...

The allotment is producing a surfeit of soft fruit (raspberries, blackcurrants, tayberries, gooseberries & strawberries). The kids are all milkshaked out, so today I plan to make my first summer pudding and perhaps a gooseberry meringue pie. I'm well domestic, me.

I've noticed that the police are the most radical workers' faction ... they're always at the front of the protest marches.

Buying a 33p tin of chopped tomatoes in Lidl, instead of a 31p tin of unchopped ... now that's living ...