Eric Pickles

Does anyone else find Eric Pickles profoundly uninspiring?

‎

... unlike Dill Pickles.

Is it just because I can't take my eyes off his voluminous throat? Or because he's a Tory minister of severely limited abilities?

I loved it when, a few years ago on Question Time, Pickles complained that the public doesn't understand how tough it is being an MP, explaining in a wholly unconvincing way how his parliamentary duties required him to be in a certain place at a certain time without fail ... and Dimbleby cruelly interjected "you mean it's like a job?"

You can find this excerpt on YouTube ... but don't scroll down to the foul-mouthed and moronic comments below.

MP's Wife Guilty of Kitten Theft

MP's wife guilty of kitten theft

The wife of Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming is found guilty of stealing a kitten from the home of her husband's lover.

You couldn't make it up ...

The Anguish of Evie (aged 5)

Evie: Life is so hard on me
Maman: Is it? Why?
Evie: Because I'm trying to work out its meaning, but I can't

The Orthography of Evie (aged 5)

Evie: Daddy, how do you spell "Thank you"?
Daddy: T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U
Evie: Don't look! (She writes, then mouths F-O-R)
Evie: Daddy, how do you spell "taking us on holiday"?

 

Inner Temple Gardens

On a resplendent Autumn day in the Capital, I luncheoned al fresco in the salubrious environs of the Inner Temple gardens ... on a Tesco £2.50 Meal Deal. There I happened upon the Head Gardener, who turned out to be none other than my good chum, Andrea Brunsendorf, erstwhile fellow student of Nature Conservation at the University College of Olde London Town (UCOLT). We conversed a while and then she sent me on my way with a bag of newly-fallen Walnuts.

Life's but a walking shadow

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Currently reading ...

Currently reading: Life Ascending by Nick Lane
I gave up on Thoreau's Walden. I'll try again later ... well, it took me three attempts to get to the end of Heart of Darkness and that's little more than a short story