Walcott for Chelsea?

This morning, Noah and I were watching Arsenal's 7-3 drubbing of Newcastle in last night's Match of the Day, when Evie came in, whose interest in football is at best dilettante ...
 
Evie: Theo Walcott? I thought he played for Chelsea
Daddy: No, he's an Arsenal player
Evie: Has he ever played for Chelsea?
Daddy: No.  He's never been a Chelsea player
Evie: Has he been a sub for Chelsea?
Daddy: No, not even a sub
Evie: Man, I can't believe I thought that, this whole time ...

Funniest Part of One's Body?

Evie (full of ideas this morning): What's the funniest part of your body ... that you can play with?
Daddy (perplexed): Er ...
Evie: Your nose!
Daddy (relieved): Oh yes! Of course!

Added salt ,,,

I think I'm correct in my belief that if you add the salt before cooking then it doesn't really count as salt ...

As we were finishing Boxing Day dinner, Sarah came into the room with her boyfriend Joe ...
 
Daddy (to Sarah & Joe):  Would you like some food?
Sarah (adolescently dismissive):  No thanks
Maman (maternally dismissive):  They'll feed themselves with cornflakes
Joe (surveying the cereals):  I can't even see any cornflakes!
Evie:  You just don't get the sarcasm, do ya?

Literally ...

Noah (nearly 9) has suddenly started using the word "literally" ... but in literally every sentence. He started literally yesterday. When I checked if he understands the word's meaning, he couldn't explain it and yet he uses it in a superficially plausible way. I think I'll wait a little longer before advising him that he's literally wearing the word out.

Fox attacks 'vindictive' media

"The ministerial code has been found to be breached".  There's nothing like the passive tense to soften the message.  It wasn't me, guv, it just happened.

He criticises the media frenzy, apparently without wondering if he might have caused it. One week before resigning, he assured us that the allegations were baseless.  Baseless! He knew that they were not only not baseless, they were true.  It was a bare-faced lie.  Does he not feel that he should also apologise for baldly lying to the public he served?

Protestant Truth

... not to be confused with other versions of the truth ...

This bookshop has been in Fleet Street at least since I started working in the area in the late '80s, although it might have changed its name at one point.  I never see anyone going in or out.  How do they afford the rent?  Perhaps it's a front for more sinister purposes ... although there isn't much more sinister ...